[x]

Math LimerickA dozen, a gross, and a score,
Plues three times the square root of four,
Divided by seven,
Plues five times eleven,
Is nine squared, and not a bit more

Mirror MirrorMisty mirror and the image within,
Showing what is and what has been.
It has the would've, the could've,
And the should've, under the skin.

In swirling mists hide the sight,
Of an eye, aglow under the light.
Black with madness, with gladness,
And sadness within the white.

Under the cloudy surface lies,
Knowledge secret only to the wise.
Sacred to men living, men dying,
but not to those without such ties.

Within and behind the surface be
The same as those in front of me.
Be it terrible, great, or mundane:
In your mirror there is only thee.

Nothing less, and nothing more.

FallenAngels have boring personalities. Full angels following the will of heaven are perfect in every respect and thus are the same in speech and action. They even look the same, faintly masculine and feminine. The perfect androgynous features seem to blend together.

Now, fallen angels are some what different. They have that same look and bearing, but they are misguided in their reasoning and do not follow the will of heaven. They have the same boring personality, but the things they do are interesting to see...from far, far away.
---------------------
This one I knew was a mother to orphans. I talked to the kids "she" had adopted. Apparently "s

PerfectionBeing perfect is impossible.
But being imperfect, is perfect in itself.

The Real Monsters of the NightShe doesn't like to sleep at night
Because she fears that monsters live under her bed
Her daddy looks for her but doesn't see anything
Then heads back to his room and falls asleep

She lies awake fearing they are climbing into her room
She hears a spooky noise then runs screaming for her Mommy
The mother soothes her child and wraps her in a blanket
Then sets her gently back into bed

She awakes from a nightmare of a monster trying to eat her
Then runs to her parents room fearing for her life
They tell her it was just a bad dream and to go back to sleep
She walks away slowly wishing they'd understand

She cries into her pillow that ni

And the moth said to god..."I finally got to the light"

The Man Who Couldn't DreamHe couldn't dream.

He could dream per se, day-dream about his job, his future life, his girlfriend, and all that but ever since his crash he was unable to dream in his sleep. That to him, it was as if someone had cut off a vital part of him. Before the fateful night of the car crash, almost two years ago, he had a very active dream-life. Monsters leapt out from unknown places, people whom he had met only once would come into his dreams and play havoc.

But all that was missing now. No more going to bed and waking up in a strange wondrous land, beyond his wildest imagination. He had tried everything. From holy men who had been sitting in a lo

Not Worthy of YouYou know,
I've had a crush on you forever,
You're so nice to me,
But I'm not worth your time.

I'm not pretty enough for you,
I want to be with you,
But surely, I must disgust you,
With my ugly face.

You're so smart,
You understand so much,
Yet I…
I'm so stupid, so idiotic.

You deserve a model mooning over you,
Not some not-hot worthless otaku,
With boring hair, boring eyes,
Freckles, and nerdy glasses.

I love you,
I need you,
I cannot breathe without you,
But I don't deserve your love.

I feel like a child,
Waiting for approval,
Waiting for approval that will never come,
That should not ever come.

I want to hear th

PerfecionIn school,
I was perfect,
I had blonde hair,
And had a jock boyfriend.

Girls were jealous of me,
They wanted to be like me,
To be pretty and skinny,
And to be perfect.

Everyday, I wore make up,
My skin was flawless,
But I wore it anyway,
Maybe, to mask the true person within.

My eyes, baby blue,
Reflected the colour of the skies,
Shone with happy tears,
Because I knew nothing else.

I wasn't just pretty,
I was smart, too,
I had 'A's,
And my choice of friends.

Finally, the yearbook came out,
And I was voted 'most likely to be a model',
I was so happy, because I was so sure,
So sure it'd be true.

Tenth grade soon came,
A

Unhappily in LoveI watched my love march off to war,
The image of him I did adore,
But the war in years took it's toll,
And took from my love his soul.

When love is lost and love is young
The loss is as a song unsung.
The notes in the heart will ever sound,
But never again in the world be found.

I loved my beloved from afar,
To me she was my only star.
But though I watched her she shunned me,
And now alone by myself I must be.

Slanted and slighted love brings pain,
Far more than the love unattain'.
For rejection and denial hurt not
As much as when love is left to rot.

I had thought that I was in love,
Until my love sold me like a glove.
Gave

Toilet paper's problemDon't rub me on your...

EWWWWWWWWW!

Restaurant Restroom RhapsodyI-- I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to run away,
Turn you aside or leave you in the cold.
My thoughts were scrambled too fast
For me to react calmly,
Take it all in stride
And just nod as the truth came.
The rhythm of my thoughts
Just fell apart; the wineglass I was holding
Would have too, were it not for the inside of my head
Holding a vague idea
Of what was coming.

The main course must have arrived by now;
But I don't feel hungry, even though I know
The lasagna here
Leaves little room for words

How could I have not known who--
What--
You are?
The signs were obvious, looking back.
My loins let me believe whatever I wanted to bel

6WS: American DreamWork. Home. Sleep. Work. Work.

Die.

Make your own journeyYou walk and you walk and you walk. But to where?
They tell you to walk your own path.
They tell you to take the road less traveled.
But they don't listen if you disagree with their words.
If you want to walk down a dead end just because you want to.
They want you to go somewhere.
To do something.
But what if you don't want to?
When a woman marries a dying man everyone knows how the story will end.
It will be a dead end road.
But she loves him.
Why can't she follow her love?
Why can't she be with him till the end?
Why does she have to shorten her time with him by following the other road?
Why can't she love him?
When a man

FinishedThose taunting words I hear everyday -
"You're ugly"
"You have no life"
"Get away from me"
-those words hurt.

I loop the rope around and hang it in my too-large closet.

People are mean.
I never did anything to them.
They just need a target.
Someone to be a bitch to when they're feeling down.

I stick my neck through the hole, and hang there.

Well, I'm not willing to be that target anymore.
Are you happy?
You got to me!

And I stay there, until the world goes dark.....

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1. IntroductionAndi was the introduction. For both DeviantArt and this theme challenge. Her screen name is AndishXD, you can read her writing yourself.

As for the rest of this introduction, all I can say is that the meaning of this collection will change. For me, in the December days of 2011, it is a challenge. Perhaps in the future it will be a nostalgic memory. I don't know. I will mark the new edits.

A Typical HalloweenTrick or treating, it's always been the thrill of the year. Yensen (some kinda European name maybe?) and I made our rounds every year without fail. It's been a tradition for as long as we could walk.

Now, last year, trouble came along. This year, it left, and here's our story....

------------

"You're not going trick or treating?", Yensen's voice held the uncomfortable tone of a friend that's not sure how to react. "If you don't go, my parents are definately not going to let me go..."

"Might as well, remember what happened last year?" I flushed with anger and shame at the same time. High school kids, around 10 of them, suddenly decided to

Poem of a Dog's Water BowlYou are...

A dish of water,
On a moonlit night.
With nary a ripple,
On the dark surface.

A reflection, as free as the endless heavens.
A depth, as bottomless as the roiling sea.

May your beauty never be marked by the passage of time.
May your darkness never be marred by the rising sun.

Fin.

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Snappy Comebacks:HELP ADD

by ~Bellairs, May 15, 2011, 7:22:56 AM
Literature / Poetry / Humor / Urban & Spoken Word

"If your friends jumped off a cliff would you do it?" "Well, that would depend on many factors, including height, training, and equipment. But if 100% of the people enjoyed it, then I would conclude it was safe. A better question might have been 'If everyone else wore clothes, would you do that?'"

There is no "I" in "team" but there is "I" in "win".

There is no "I" in "team" but there is "me".

There is no "I" in "team" but there are two in "winning"!

~juno08 "There's no 'I' in 'team.'" "There's an 'I' in 'PISS OFF!!!'"

~juno08 "Can I ask you something?" "You just did."

~Peghan "You can't spell 'Funeral' without 'Fun'"

Can't spell "slaughter" without "laughter".

Can't spell "studying" without "dying".

Can't spell "believe" without "lie".

Can't spell "Advertisements" without "semen".

The squeaky wheel gets the oil, but it's also the first one to get replaced.

~Banana-jellies "The early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese."

"Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger" "Tell that to the kid born with polio."

"Better late than never" "Better never late."

~juno08 "How do you sleep at night?!" "Comfortably, thanks for asking."

~juno08 "I wouldn't do that if I were you." "If you were me, you'd be good-looking."

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." "If I'm doing it, and you are me, then you'd do it too."

~juno08 "Can I help you?" "No, just stand there and watch."

~juno08 "Do you know what you're doing?" "You wish."

~juno08 "I can't beat him! He'll kill me!" "Can I have your [popular/rare item] when he does?"

~juno08 "Are you ready?" "I was born ready." "So then you're going to die unprepared?"

Early to rise and early to bed makes a man healthy, but socially dead.

The early bird gets the worm, but the early worm gets eaten.

"Would you mind saying grace?" "Grace."

"Mean People Suck" "Nice people swallow".

"Always be yourself" "Unless you're a pretensious asshole like him".

"FUCK YOU" "Not yet."

"Give a man a fish and you have fed him for a day. Teach him how to fish and you feed him for the rest of his life." "Give a man a match and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

~splotchimo "Give a man a fish, he eats for a day, teach him to fish, you get rid of him for the rest of the weekend."

-to a tall person- "How's the weather up there?" -turn and spit- "Raining."

If you save everything util the last minute, it only takes a minute.

~AgentBabycakes "I started praying when I got in here. Lord, carry me through this class!"

~AgentBabycakes "You always eat Ho-Hos!" "You are what you eat."

~AgentBabycakes "Where's [name]?" "Talking to his girlfriend." *Person walks in* "Someone's willing to date you?"

~AgentBabycakes "This is an A and B conversation. C your way out."

~AgentBabycakes "I tried to see the good in her." "And?" "There was nothing to see."

~AgentBabycakes "I am a lot of things, but I am not a liar!" "Yeah, well, you're a lot of things."

~AgentBabycakes "That was weird! I am so disturbed!" "I'm not." "I'd say you're pretty disturbed."

~AgentBabycakes "Is he a stand up guy?" "Well, he stands up."

~AgentBabycakes "I broke the ice with her!" "Probably by skating on it."

~AgentBabycakes "Oh my God, you moron!" "Hey, don't say my name in vain!"

~AgentBabycakes "So they're dating?" "Yup. Grotesque but true."

~AgentBabycakes "Have I seen you somewhere before?" "Yeah. That's why I don't go back there."

~AgentBabycakes "What's the difference between a chemistry textbook and an onion?" "Well..." "Nobody cries when you chop up a chemistry textbook."

"I'm pissed off!" "Better to be pissed off than pissed on."

"Live and learn." "Then die and forget it all."

"Two wrongs don't make a right." "But three lefts do."

"Age before beauty..." "...pearls before swine!" or "Oh, go ahead then."

"Great minds think alike" "So do mediocre ones."

~ShizukaXSasuke "So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey."

~ShizukaXSasuke "I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?"

~ShizukaXSasuke "I see the wheel is spinning, but the hamster looks dead."

~ShizukaXSasuke "If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive."

"A cluttered desk means a cluttered mind" "Okay then, you have the emptiest desks I know."

~Dustail "If everything is coming your way, you're probably in the wrong lane."

"How are you doing?" "Doing all of them that I can. The easy ones twice."

"You're an asshole" "That's right. I am absolutely essential."

"You have no friends." "I have no problems."

"You have no idea what you're doing!" "You have no idea what I'm doing, either!"

"You're ridiculous!" "I'm unique."

"You're incompetent." "How can you tell?"

~jamaicancrocodile "You have no talent." "How can you tell?"

"Your writing sucks." "Well, I guess you read it, eh?"

"You should have been here [amount of time] ago!" "Why? What happened then?"

---Catch-all bonus phrases:---

Anything with obscure words "Sorry, I'm not really into Pokemon."

There is a "U" in "FUCK OFF"!

I've heard it both ways.

"A witty saying proves nothing." -Volitare

Famous lines in history:
http://www.drmardy.com/repartee/historygreatreplies.shtml

Snappy Comebacks:HELP ADDby ~Bellairs

Literature / Poetry / Humor / Urban & Spoken Word

This is far from complete. Everyone should help out!

~~love 0 0~~

joy 1 1

~~wow 0 0~~

~~mad 0 0~~

~~sad 0 0~~

~~fear 0 0~~

~~neutral 0 0~~

~Clocks-are-round May 28, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

The only good comeback to "No sh*t Sherlock" is "f*** you Watson"

Hehe ^^

*Wafflekitty11 Oct 30, 2011 Hobbyist Writer

Guess what
CHICKEN BUTT
(also guess why, cow pie, etc.)
is it good enough?

~Bellairs Oct 31, 2011 Student General Artist

...no...?

*Wafflekitty11 Oct 31, 2011 Hobbyist Writer

:iconi'mhappyplz:

~RoxasPicasso Sep 13, 2011 Hobbyist Traditional Artist

It's very similar to one that's already there, but my friend and I have joked for as long as we can remember that "Great minds think alike, and dumb ones too."

These are all great!

~Bellairs Sep 13, 2011 Student General Artist

Thank you!

~splotchimo Jul 10, 2011 Student

Give a man a fish, he eats for a day, teach him to fish, you get rid of him for the rest of the weekend.

Those are amazing! I LAWLed alot ^_^

~Bellairs Jul 10, 2011 Student General Artist

Thanks

Be sure to thank the people who donated too if you like theirs.

!AllGoodNamesGone Jul 9, 2011 Student Photographer

For the lulz.

[link]

~Bellairs Jul 9, 2011 Student General Artist

Holy s*** is that a comeback for a comeback for a comeback?

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